It's not normal to cheer for anyone to make a bowel movement. It's just not. Maybe when your kids are potty training you praise them for getting the job done, but that happens when they're what? Two? Three? Even then you don't hover over them cheering in the weirdest way.
Oh, hold on... Just had a flashback of what I saw and heard today. Disturbed.
OK, potty training is the only possible time it could be alright to give praise. And it is a big deal. Kids are proud of themselves and we are proud for no more messes, wet pee clothes, no more of our kid walking around in their own excrement. Then there's the stage of the yelling from the bathroom. -I need help wiping my buuuttttt. But all of that is progress. There's a reason for praise. It comes from a place of love, and giving that praise should happen! In any normal circumstances, this is the only time this should happen! I'm totally way off the main subject now and it's because the main subject freaked me out so bad. Potty training and this deal actually have not one thing to do with the other. I was just really trying to find a way to re-think what happened. Know what? THERE IS NO WAY TO DO THAT! This was nuts.
Oh, shit, y'all. (really, no pun intended)
Wannabe across the street.
This made me so sick.
There is a big beautiful dog over there. He lives there.
He was out there doing his thing because when nature calls you do your thing.
For maybe, I don't know, 40 seconds? However long it takes a dog to go.
The dog goes.
And Wannabe stands. over. to. the. side. watching him.
And in the creepiest voice possible...
Yeah... Do that... Oh yeah... Uh-Huh... Yeeeaaahhh... That's riiiighttt... OH YEAHHH... Woooo...
It ended with some sort of a shiver. WooWoooWooWoooo.
NOW COME ON!
Tomorrow I'm writing about rainbows and unicorns so I can begin to heal.