A few days ago I had my first-legit-paying-photo shoot-gig. The kid's official now! This girl was so nervous. I started preparing days before the shoot. Looking for lighting tips, angles, tricks. I looked at lots of different photo types and styles. I made myself nuts. It got crowded in my brain.
I know I take some good photos. I know that some of those photos are great, fantastic even, but those were just for me; nobody was paying me for them. There's the pressure to get it right. Self doubt creeps in.
At one point, the night before? I felt so much pressure that I began to dread doing it. DREAD SHOOTING WITH MY CAMERA!? Get the fuck outta here. I know. I KNOW. But I was so nervous. Being too hard on myself. The morning of the shoot? My breathing was all off. Now, when you can't breathe steady in and out there is a problem.
So I smacked myself and said,
Snap out of it, you idiot!
You know you got this.
You know you do a pretty damn good job most of the time.
It's fun, relax.
It's what you do.
Somebody wants to pay you? TAKE THAT MONEY.
Okay... you're not an idiot.
You just want to get it right and you're being ridiculously hard on yourself.
Now, go do yo thang, Shawty. Go do yo thang.
I did go do my thing. Turns out, the family loved their photos. I was relieved. It's a good thing to be a little bit hard on yourself and push yourself to be better at whatever it may be that you're striving to achieve. But when you start choking yourself out because of it, and you actually start to dread the thing it is that you love to do - It's time to stop, and give yourself a smack. Don't let self doubt take over. You got this!
I got crafty and delivered their cd of photos in these little bags.
I think they're sweet little messenger birds of thanks.
Go do yo thang.